Pretty much a personal blog. If you're looking for a certain date, use your browser's Find feature, and type in the date. (Example - 9/17/1992)
If you did notice the home screen, I'm trying out something different. Making picture links to these pages on my website. They're all .png files made in Paint.NET. All I did was make the text, make the shadow of the text, make the window border, and make the gradient in whatever I feel like making the gradient.
In the Memorie Project page of this site, there is a picture link to the project news, which is similar to this blog, but it's for new developments for the Memorie Project, a project that I have been making since 2011, apparently. And it's a picture link. the first one, actually the second. That Key Icon in the website was the first one.
Come oooooon.... I just wanna try out my new controller I bought. What's taking it so long to get heeeere???? AAAAAAAAA!!!!
Back a few days ago, I bought a new PC controller. It should be coming soon. I keep checking the site, but it keeps getting delayed, possibly due to TRAFFIC. I can see it with Marion, Indiana's traffic. It's... oof. People just like to cut when they shouldn't. And are kinda rude too. Anyway, hope it comes, cause I wanna try it out on all it supports!
So today, I decided to say "screw it, one last purchase", and bought a new controller. Wireless and requires a wireless dongle. Apparently, what I didn't expect, was that it was compatible with not only PC, but also PS3 (surprisingly), Nintendo Switch, Steam Deck, and Android. So that's cool. :3 Can't wait to try it. I'm gonna stop buying things for a while. I'm burning a hole in my wallet. o.o
So... I'm learning some new things. First off is making web pages inside different folders, which makes things easier. Secondly... Picture URLs. :3 I am practicing with that. So I may overhaul the site one day to use Picture URLs instead of Text for things. Also those are gonna be in .png files, so they'll be a teeny tiny bit big. Hope this works out. For now, only an icon was added to the main home page, and the Memorie project page has a new Picture URL called "Project News". I still got a lot to learn, but learning is half the battle.
Yeah... that's happening lately. I've been having wifi stick issues with my PC, and I have zero idea why. Luckily, I have a backup stick, so... that helps a bit. Still, why is this happening all of a sudden? I have no idea. But for now, I got the bigger wifi stick back in, and I hope things will get better. It could be because I have to use my wireless mouse, but it could also be something else. Who knows.
That said... Things are calm now... a bit.
Dang... Has it really been 15 years since I graduated High School back in 2011...? Time has been slipping off my grasp for the past 15 years now. Holy cow.
So what can I do about it? Absolutely nothing. I'll just continue on what I've been doing, hoping that something new and exciting comes my way, and hope that new thing interests me.
Cause so far, things haven't been interesting to me lately. Or so I thought. I have been having fun with some friends in games, so that's different than doing the normal routine, and I have been enjoying myself with some of the new things I bought, which I did treat myself when I got paid. So I got some distractions to enjoy my, otherwise, boring life.
Welp... Today is the day where I declared this site good enough to pretty much stop using the old Wix.com site, which is still here if you wanna see the "I've moved sites" page, which is the only part available now. Now, this site is the main site, with a homepage that I can customize on the fly, if I need to. For right now, it's pretty much basic, but that's all I need for a start. Hopefully, I learn some interesting methods to make this site better, but for now this is the best I can do.
I got no comment on this one, but yeah. Lately All I could think about is... well... my parents. It's odd. So I'm gonna have to play games to distract myself from that thought. I haven't been playing PSO2 and Umamusume a lot lately.
For Umamusume, I've been doing all but the career dailies, mostly cause of times I may have to mow the lawn, which I do need to today.
For PSO2, I've been doing nothing but dailies, including the event ones, which two of the dailies is basically requiring me to do two Urgent Quests to get the reward medals for them. Cause of the UQ dailies, I've mostly been on PSO2NGS more, even if I don't want to be.
I also have been playing games like Palworld lately too, mostly cause... why not. I'm also gonna try a Tales of game that I won on a giveaway on a Twitch Stream. (Thanks NeppyNepNepVT. I didn't expect to win, as I usually do.)
I guess this is the distraction arc for me now.
Well... Here I am again... Playing video games to keep me from seeing the real world events happening... around the world. It's not the first time I done something like that, but when I have a lot of things on my mind, I guess it's just that escape I needed.
Well... Okay, not exactly. But it's something to help keep my mind off of things, if possible. Maybe I should do some other things to keep my mind off of a lot of things.
I prayed last night... at least I think I did. The only thing on my mind were my parents, and how much they meant to me together. I couldn't just sit back and do nothing this time. But what can I do? Call them both dummies? I can do that, but it'd be blunt.
Yesterday, when I got back, I noticed my dad's facebook posts and profile had disappeared. Not only that, but on the about my profile page, yes I have a Facebook account that I use to keep in contact with family members and more local friends, he disappeared in my Family list. I texted him using my phone about how much he's making me worry about him, and probably making me gain anxieties like I'm a certain PSO2 worry wort, that I know on Twitter. He said he'll "Talk to me about it later", so I'm holding onto him on that.
Then comes the part where I prayed before bed.
Now... I'm gonna let you know. Yes. I am a Christian, but no. I'm not a Christian Nationalist. In fact, I don't even see Christian Nationalists as even Christians to begin with. But I'm not gonna talk about that right now. I'm gonna talk about the prayer I did last night.
I prayed, before going to sleep, for my parents to be happy with each other, and start loving each other again, instead of arguing. It was the only thing on my mind, and I'm just not wanting them to split apart, you know?
That's pretty much it. I hope the prayer is answered. I really do. Because it's starting to make me worry. Now my youngest brother is having issues too, and I worry about him a bit, but it's my parents' connection to each other that I don't want to see cut apart.
Okay.... soo.... I had a clumsy moment, and the sliding part of the desk decided to tumble, with my mouse and keyboard with it. My keyboard seems fine, but my mouse... it became very uncooperative, and therefore unusable anymore. So It's back to my old and reliable wireless Logitech Mouse that I've had for YEARS. O.o It's very reliable and functional, so I don't have to worry about the lack of mouse inputs... for now. But this also means that I may have to adjust some control scheme settings for some.
I've been thinking. Maybe I might've been overreacting about the arguments my dad and mom have been having. And yes, they are more frequent than they ever were, and I still don't want them to break up, or file a divorce, and I would want them to be happy and loved by each other again, just like when I was very little. Who knows. Maybe... maybe they just need some time to themselves for a little bit.
Okay... So first off, my work day. It was... actually smooth. like... Real smooth. No issues.
Secondly... There's a bit of drama between my dad and my mom. Now, normally it's a rare time for an argument between them. But lately, it's getting more recent.
To be honest, I don't want my parents to break up or be divorced. I really don't. But I don't really know what to do to make them stop. Though if it gets to my boiling point, then I might possibly do something rash.
I know what's going to be on my Christmas List this year. And it's going to be my goal for this year. I just hope they understand any rash action I might do if they start arguing at each other.
And no. It's not jumping off a building, suicide, or buying a gun.
Certain events had happened when I was a kid. From an incident during my early middle school years, to... well... today. Things changed a lot. Lately, I've been wondering what the condition of that old house, that started the downward spiral of events after an incident, is like now. I'm curious, but I know I won't be able to rent or own the property. But part of me wants to see what it looks like today, but I already know I probably can't do that without the owner's permission, if it's not being lived in. Maybe it's because it's been so many years outside of that house. Part of me wishes that certain events, including the incident that brought me to where I am today, never happened.
It does make me wonder if certain events in my life didn't happen. Would I be happier? Would my parents still be living in that house? Would I be way more successful than I am now? All these questions, and not one answer.
I'm surprised I kinda remember the address of that old place. But I haven't seen the house in its current condition. Maybe one day I will. But that probably will never happen.
Not sure what's gotten me to look back on certain events. Not as a failure to everything, but as something to learn about my past. Like what really caused so many of these events to happen after that incident. And partly... I believe that I am to blame for this downward spiral of events that brought me to where I am today. But I can't really blame myself for that too much.
Maybe one day I'll stop looking back at my past, and start looking more toward the present, and maybe even the future.
Soo... earlier today, I heard noise from a room. A room that was originally a deck. So I checked it out. Turns out, what was making that noise, is a bird that, somehow, ended up in there. It spooked me. But I went back in after, to see if the bird flew out, or found a spot to be in peace for a bit. And I checked on the trap I set sometime back. Turns out... the trap went off sometime back, possibly a few days. HOWEVER.... I didn't notice it until today, and by the time I noticed, it was already too late. I had to do the thing I would also do to a cat that passes away. So I did that. If you are reading this entry, then you might think I'm just a monster, or I should've noticed it sooner. And yeah. I should have, but every time I heard noise, I thought the animal, that was trapped in the trap for a few days till its passing, was just in the ceiling. But I was dead wrong. I never heard the trap go off. and I feel like I'm a failure at that point. I'll have to do better.
In a different shade of light, I have tried and played Pokémon Champions for a few days now. It's alright. It has a few things to improve upon and iron out, but it is kinda fun. That's pretty much all I got for that... for now.
Aside from the little guy I had to do the one thing with, I also mowed quite a lot of the lawn. I hadn't set that trap up again, in case that bird is still there. Hope that bird finds the hole in the ceiling.
I can't believe I'm saying this but... DO NOT look at your viewer counts if you're a streamer. Even from the analysis reports. If it's low, it'll make you think that you're not good enough to be a streamer. I typically don't recommend, and would much rather you all to just enjoy streaming without any of that viewer mumbo jumbo.
On another note. It's spring now, so I gotta deal with the lawn... AS SOON AS THE RAINING STOPS! My god! When I want to mow, and I have to mow, the rain happens! So I can't mow. Dangit! Oh well... When it stops raining for at least a few days, I'll be mowing that lawn again. And cutting any weeds I can during the day.
Okay... So this has been going around for a long while now, and... I'm definitely against age verification on the internet. Not only will I have to give out personal information on the internet, but also take a mugshot on a webcam, that I don't have? No thanks. In fact, at least in Colorado, it's going into the OS level, and that makes me NOT want to give my children a computer AT ALL..... if I ever have children of my own.
I have to say this, but it's not the governments' job(s) to protect children online. It's the parents of those children. And the fact that this is going on makes me think that these politicians that are bringing out these Online laws.... makes me think that these politicians failed to protect their own children. In fact, I don't think it's about the children anyway. They just want to control the masses.
I swear the United States is becoming more and more like the land of the chained rather the land of the free.
I've been feeling pretty off for the past two days, mostly because I had trouble sleeping. Then I discovered that I felt nauseous at times, but those times normally ended up with a small series of burps. Funny enough. I don't have a bad cough nor a sore throat, and the only things I have atm is a small headache, and a stuffy nose since Daylight Savings Time. Sometime earlier, I ended up tossing my cookies. Luckily I was near a toilet, so I was expecting it with the small feelings of nausea. It happened again somewhere before it hit 9:00PM EDT. After reading about tossing my cookies, I read that I should brush my teeth, and rehydrate afterwards. The Brushing of my teeth can take the aftertaste out of my mouth, and drinking water will get me rehydrated. I'm taking small sips, just in case. As for the headache, I'm going to take Nyquil. It'll have it subside, and maybe I can get some sleep.... or toss my cookies again. XD
Either way, I now know what to do when I toss my cookies, and I'm not sick from it. Still... Being a human barometer I guess means more than just getting sick, huh? O.o
Yeah.... So I had to change the clocks before I went to bed, and I even had trouble sleeping. Daylight Savings time doesn't effect all states, but it does effect the state I live in, so I had no choice but to comply to it. And I hate it. I lose an hour of sleep, and that's not good for the human body.
Other than that, I'm... not really up to stuff right now. Perhaps that'll change once I get food in my stomach, and I'm more awake.
I was hoping I didn't have to type this, but seeing that the US goverment, the government of the country I live in, is overreaching and regulating the Internet, AND Operating Systems, I just couldn't keep quiet about it. And in my opinion. It's not gonna protect kids. In fact, I still believe that the governments should butt out, and let the parents of those children actually parent instead. It's not the government's job to protect children online. It's the of the parents of those children. So I don't know why the government is overstepping their bounds.
But if I'm to guess. It's because the government wants to control people. but that's my theory about it. I don't like being restricted. And these Age Verification things that's passed the Senate, an onto the Floor, seems to be for that control. I'm actually tired of these politicians doing things that don't benefit anyone. Agre Verification? More like freedom removal.
So yeah. I don't see these Age Verification acts being good, and could just have me leave the internet if it gets too much. I don't trust a lot of sites on the internet with my private info. And doing all this, violates my privacy, BECAUSE there's an age verification law. Therefore, I have to give my private info. Screw that. I'm against this anyway, since it's not the governments job to protect these kids. These politicians have overstepped, and I don't like it.
So... YESTERDAY, a new version of Final Fantasy VII hit Steam, and replaced the old 2013 one. It also had a day one patch to fix the battle screen issues, where the battles are about twice or three times as fast, compared to the previous version.
There is also a DRM Free GOG.com version, which I bought, and was discounted, which is pretty much the same thing, without Steam. I decided to download this version, probably in case Rai wanted to use that version on the Retro PC project he and my dad are working on. Either way, it's... well... Final Fantasy VII. Not really sure what else to say on that regard.
Huh... so Final Fantasy VII on PC is now on par with the Console ports... Ehh... Still the same game, though. I'll beat it legitly on Twitch, starting next week or so. I already beat the Steam 2013 release, so I do kinda have a small idea of what I'm doing.
I thought I'd pretty much get this off my chest before doing more stuff. I don't like the look of my country's modern architecture. It's always the same colors, and similar box designs. They're also bland and boring, and makes me miss the 1990s to Early 2000s days when buildings were in different shapes and sizes. But also... back then they were fun, and very unique. Nowadays, Every building looks the same. It's boring, and also a bit bland. I miss the days where architects would make fun-looking buildings. Mc.Donalds always had these red roofs, Wal-Mart had more of a blue and white color scheme, And Bob Evans had a clock on their front of the building to complete a logo. They don't have that anymore!
I guess it pretty much shows how much boring us Americans have gotten to the point where we don't wanna make something look fun anymore, or it could also be because activists are generally making things boring. One or the other. But Ehh... I want the fun and uniqueness back, please. Each restaraunt I go into feels like I'm in some kind of hospital nowadays. It's too sterile, too white, or gray, or... brown...? Where's the blue, red, yellow, orange, GREEN?
Alright. I think my rant's over. I really want to bring fun and uniqueness back into things. Starting with this website. O.o
Okay. Soooo... I have Resident Evil Village now. I've started playing it, but not sure if I'm gonna be good enough to even beat it. The last time I played any demo of this game, is with the Gold Edition, and that had a time limit. I hate that. I hope Capcom stops that sometime.
In other things... Snow's melting where I live, so who knows how much longer until Daylight Savings Time rears its ugly head on me again. I guess I better be ready for the inevitable time shifting if I wanna do anything... again. I'm also realizing that Eheh.... Standard Time doesn't last long anymore. That sucks. I like Standard time WAY MORE than Daylight Savings time.
It's crazy that I actually grieved for a few weeks. I still am, but I believe I'm pretty much done grieving via, actions. I'm gonna try to get back to speed to what I used to be. It's a rough ride, obviously, but I'll endure it.
Also... I may do some changes, somewhat, as soon as I add all the other links, and get all the pages done. I'll see about it later.
Ah... Looks like I'm not grieving as much, and I'm getting back into things. That's good.
I thought I'd never recover from this much, but I am feeling like I'm starting to get better. And I'll soon get back into the thick of things, like I have done before. Though with that in mind, things have started.... getting borked. I can't seem to use PlayStation's Remote Play feature anymore. Welp... good thing I can stream on my dad's PS5, if I play a PS4 game, at least.
I'm gonna attempt to stream on Twitch next week, starting on Monday. Initially, I was gonna stream a couple of weeks back, but... well go see the bottom most post about that. Kinda been getting random and sometimes odd dreams every bedtime. Weird. Probably my mind coping on the loss of my grandfather, but what's it all mean?
Still not myself yet, irl. But I'm hanging in there. I did have an odd dream, which has me question it. So that's something to distract myself. In fact, I've been doing my dailies on PSO2:NGS and Umamusume, and am sort of gaming, lately. So that's an improvement compared to last Saturday. So I guess I am still healing, though my eating habits haven't been completely back to normal. I just consumed an entire box of Little Debbie Fuge Rounds, and have been having more than 5 scoops of Ice Cream. Will I ever be back to normal? Hopefully I will soon.
Also... I just saw videos about the random anime clip that was in the opening of the show "Malcom in the Middle"? Apparently that's an actual anime, and I didn't know about it. Did you? Probably you have... or not. Who knows.
Well... I finally got to do the changing of Hyperlink colors. Good. The Blue and Purple kinda clashed a lot, and that's saying something. So now, the hyperlinks will be in White, or Sky Blue, with Sky Blue being a link you visited. I also changed another thing, what was bigger in text, but white, is now bigger in text, but in Sky Blue. I also learned how to make picture hyperlinks, so I may replace some things in the future with pictures. But not right now.
In irl things... Still not completely back to normal, but I'm getting there. I just need more time to heal. A funeral for my grandfather is coming up, and though I can't be there, I know I'm still grieving in my own way. It's gonna be a while more until I am healed enough to do more than just the little things. Please pray for me, and my family, in hopes to get through the loss of my grandfather. :'(
I dunno what to say... I'm still grieving. When I heard the news of his passing, (See the blog from 1/24/2026), it hurt. Really it did. Right now... I'm up at 4am. Just to make a blog, and then try to sleep. But I am gonna try harder to go back to my normal routines. It's not gonna be perfect, nothing is perfect in reality, but I'll try. Besides. If I keep sulking, dishes are gonna pile up. So... I decided to pretty much do things, like update this site, and do my dailies on games like PSO2:NGS, and Umamusume Pretty Derby. After that... Well... I'll see. I haven't checked my E-mail lately. I should. But I don't wanna do that while I'm still in my grieving. Alright. I better stop and rest. I need to heal, so I better do just that. Just... I should take my time on things, so I may not be on Umamusume and PSO2 for too long while I heal... hopefully.
Oh! I forgot. On the bright side of things, I'm learning how to make separators. You might've already noticed a separator on the site. Alright. That's pretty much it. I better... sleep before I do pass out from exhaustion.
I didn't think this would be my first blog post, but I guess here we are. So yeah... I've been updating the site in (no so) regular intervals, and just this morning, I heard that my grandfather had passed away. And that hurt a lot, so I'm not very motivated to continue updating right now. So after this update, which introduces the Blog Entries, I'm going to be distracting myself for a while. Who knows. Maybe I'll make a new web page for this site to show my Twitch Streaming Schedule. Not completely sure yet.
Anyway, on a more down to earth, and back on topic, I'm sad. I'm sad I won't be able to see him anymore. If only I could see him before his passing. Dang... This hurts... this sucks... I don't have the motivation to do things. I'm gonna try to do things tomorrow, but healing doesn't simply work in one day. It'll take more time.
I already miss him. :'(
I'm going to take time on healing from this loss, so I cancelled what I would be streaming on Twitch, starting tomorrow.